Today's guest blogger is Linda Rondeau.
I'm so very pleased to share her
struggle with a life of Balance.
By Linda Rondeau
“Lord, I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much,” I cried. “I wasn’t meant to be a writer.” I looked up at the wall of award certificates and thought I heard the room laughing at me.
Not that there haven’t been a few successes along the way. I’ve managed to publish articles, short stories, poetry, and I write a newspaper column. I’ve even had an agent for five years. But after eight failed books, I wondered if I heard God all wrong.
My first career had been in human services. I was a decent social worker as social workers go. But I wanted to reach people outside the government experience. Although a hobbyist writer, I hesitated to believe I could be a professional one.
When my youngest child left the nest in 1995, I asked God to give me a passion for something. Soon after uttering that desperate plea for renewal, my office sent me to what I termed a feel good seminar, the kind of workshop that motivates a person to go home and hug all the neighbors. The speaker asked, “What do you want to do with the rest of your life?” Then he instructed us to put our answers unto a 3x5 card. I wrote, WRITE. Then the speaker told us to expand our dream. Before I could catch my breath, the speaker called on me. I found myself publically declaring the desire to write for Christ.
I let doubt rob me of that momentary passion. “God does not care about your dreams. Your job is to be a good wife, mother, and neighbor. That is true Christianity. Forget your foolish desires.” The more the call tugged at my heart, the more I resisted.
Until June 21, 2000…the day the dream was reborn. Armed with faith lacking five years before, I started the journey. My first attempt was a poem. Not a very good one, but I felt a peace that had long eluded me. The excuses ended and the journey began.
Here I am, however, almost nine years later, still struggling with disbelief, fighting the urge to delete all my books. “I don’t understand why we haven’t been able to get you published,” my agent wrote. That’s what I’d like to know, Lord. What do I have to do? What am I missing? Why won’t you let me go back to being a hobbyist? I liked writing then.
A few weeks ago, during my devotion time, I opened my Bible to the fourteenth chapter of 1 Corinthians. I’d read the familiar passage about the harmony of the Spirits’ gifts. I had not applied the truth to my writing gift. My craft had been for my own pleasure. Oh, I used words about Christ, and my books did contain spiritual truth. But the whole of the affair was not in clear delineation of that truth. Instead, the writing drew attention to me as if shouting, “See how clever I am?” Like a room that cannot be lived in, I’d decorated my space with imagery, symbolism, and cadence that served no purpose but to edify myself.
God’s word had perfect clarity:
Again, if the trumpet does not sound a clear call, who will get ready for battle?
(I Corinthians 14:20)
I asked God to forgive my arrogance, and help me to put His message above my need.
But the Lord had yet another, even more profound lesson in store. A few days later, I read God’s words of love as he renewed the call and once again infused me with the same passion as that day in 1995.
For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come
(2 Corinthians 1:20 – 22).
I don’t know what the road ahead will bring. But I do know that at the end of the journey God’s arms will be stretched wide to welcome me with a huge, “Yes! Yes!”
These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them (Isaiah 42:16).
After setting out on a forced vacation, and literally running into a moose, Manhattan Assistant D.A. Samantha Knowles finds it’s not so bad being stranded in a quirky but intriguing Adirondack town. But when her three-year prosecution against convicted killer, Harlan Styles begins to unravel, she’s thrust into a whirlwind of haunting memories, fear, and danger. And suddenly, Haven isn’t so safe, after all.
With no future in Haven, and no way to escape the small town, teacher Zack Bordeaux fears he’s doomed to a life of mediocrity.
Haunted by the deaths of his wife and son, landscape artist Jonathan Gladstone feels bound to an estate he both loves and loathes. But when Zack and Jonathon meet Samantha, their lives take on a different course.
Three lives intertwined, tied together by dangerous circumstance and the faint echoes of an elusive hope. To make it through, each must find their way to the Light that’s found only on the other side of darkness.
Linda Rondeau (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Author of The Other Side of Darkness
Blogs: This Daily Grind
If you are interested in a guest post on balance, please let me know. I'd love to host you, too!